I AM POWERLESS!!!!

I took my first blind step up the stairs yesterday, admitting I have a problem to the world and joined an OA group. I am not sure if I was in denial or did not realize how much this disease consumed me. Almost everything I do is consumed and motivated by food. I realized I have to get my mind right before I can attempt to lose weight. I have opened up to Kyle and told him some of my darkest secrets. Like how using pot gives me an excuse to binge in front of him. He has been amazingly supportive. He even suggested last night that as a family we start walking in the evenings. I know he did not realize how bad it really was. He had an idea he said because I would get up in the middle of the night and eat.

I have decided to keep track of my caloric intake. Not only will that help me lose weight, but it will help me see if and when I am binge eating and be accountable for it. I am allowing myself 1400 calories per day give or take a few 100. Nothing strenuous or constraining...just accountability for my recovery. I did not binge yesterday! I took in 1,165 calories and did not feel hungry. I will be incorporating more snacks into my diet. I will be eating every 2 hours to help overcome cravings, and keep me feeling full. I woke up this morning hungry but not starving. I have a great mental attitude this morning! Thanks be to God!